I've been having a hard time adjusting to my new situation at work. For those of you who don't know me.....in September I finished Nannying for one family (sort of) and started with another. The family I finished with (Family 2) has 2 children 6 and 4 years old, I was with them for about 4 years and both the kids started full time school this year. It was sad to not be with them as much anymore.
The new family I started with (Family 1) had their first child in June and asked me to start with them in September to get adjusted while the mother was still on maternity leave. Also so that I wouldn't get a job somewhere else and leave them looking later on. Since she was on mat leave Family 2 asked if it would be ok if I worked part time with them as well. I would pick up the older kids after school and stayed there until mom and dad came home for the night. So basically I work 7:30-2:30 with Family 1 then I drive to the school to pick up the kids and I am with them from 3:00-5:30. I was delighted to do this since I didn't really want to leave the older kids anyway.
It was in an agreement between the 2 families that I would do this until January when Family 2 mom was to go back to work. Well now it is January 15 and I am still in the same situation as I was in before. Now don't get me wrong I love the time I spend with Family 2, I am just getting more and more frustrated with Family 1. I didn't think being a Nanny would be following the mom around while she did her errands and appointments, because mom is on mat leave I am basically not doing too much with the baby, who is now 7 months. I feed her in the morning and at lunch and I play with her during the day when that is possible. Mom puts her down for naps because she likes to stay in the room with her and watch her sleep. I am finding it harder and harder to do my job as a Nanny. I don't feel like she trusts me or thinks that I can handle things as she is always intervening. She will be going back to work but the when is what is bothering me. Can I really put up with this for the next 5 months she is on mat leave? Will things be any better then anyway? Should I be looking for another family?
This is just something I have been thinking about lately. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
January 15, 2008
Dilemma
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3 comments:
Remember this, when you start to have kids of your own, because what she's doing to you is exactly what most new moms do to their husbands -- and then they wonder why he doesn't want to "help out" with the baby!
How about you suggest to the mother than she needs to start leaving the baby alone with you for set periods each day -- even as little as an hour to start -- which you would gradually increase over the next few weeks. She needs to leave the house, though.
I suspect the best way to spin this would be to tell her it's to enable the baby to make the transition from full-time mom care during the daytime to full-time nanny care.
Do you have a contract? Perhaps it's time to fill in the start date for full-time care...
hey steff. i am a nanny in northern cali that reads your blog. i thought i'd give you my thoughts on your situation.
i don't know if i'd be able to deal with a mom on maternity leave for a full year! she's lucky to be able to take that, but still. my guess is she may be reconsidering going back to work.
i have always found it hard to work when a parent is home because they either limit your job or you feel like you don't want to step on any toes. it seems as if you don't really need to be there to begin with, since she does most of the stuff with the baby anyhow.
if you are questioning it this much, i think you already know the answer. there are plenty of other families out there that really need a nanny to come in and do her job fully and to give her the trust and respect she needs. see what's out there for you.
option 2 is to sit down the mom and talk to her about when she is going back to work and what she is expecting of you once she is back. perhaps you could even clear up what your role is when you are there currently. let her know that you want to do your job to the best of your ability but aren't quite sure what your role is right now since mom is there.
good luck in whatever you decide!
Thanks for your advice....I'm still trying to decide what to do....but for sure I am siting down with the parents to work out any kinks and see where it will go from there.
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